2.16.2010

self worth

my self worth is plummeting.
i am working on my resume.
turns out 8 years of mothering and homemaking doesn't make for a well rounded resume, in fact it makes a rather lousy one.
on paper, i am an uneducated fool with a huge 9 year gap in employment...except for my little part time gig at the hardware store...which counts and which i am grateful for.
last night i was weeping...my self esteem, apparently can not handle the beating.
i had to stop and write a list of all the things i am good at.
all the things i have accomplished.
all my mini areas of success.
my soul was lifted.
i have worth.
i am valuable.
even if i never land a fantastic job or simply a mediocre job or heck, a job at all,
i am still who i am.
i am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a child of God and so on.
my worth is not found on a CV but in the eyes of my God and in my heart.
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above photo is mini heart pins made for the ladies at church on sunday.
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my friend Monica just wrote a great post about her opus of motherhood.

9 comments:

  1. dear nicole,
    You are God's daughter. Although it doesn't always feel worthwhile in today's society, its worth is beyond measure...more than any CV could cover or money could buy. Your gifts are from Him and for His glory. Your joy is because of Him and exudes through you. Your husband and children would not be able to put a price tag on your worth, because you are beyond what money could buy. Your friendship is a gift I treasure, despite the miles that separate us. Your vulnerability and honesty and creativity and transparency and realness are things I value in you, and am thankful for, because they help me feel free to be those myself. You are not alone in your feelings, but I encourage you to holdfast to this...He created you, and that means your self is worth a whole lot, sister!
    For what it's worth, from a fellow sister who's CV ain't so hot either!
    Love,
    Steph

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  2. you successfully run an etsy shop right??? that is something for sure. plus you are awesome. you should put that under your skills.

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  3. O MAMA! I'd hire you. I wish I could....

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  4. i wish that there was some place to put these amazing women...
    women who chose to stay home,
    chose to love,
    chose to take care of there sick,
    women that add flair to a simple meal,
    decorate there houses so there children and husbands feel like they have a home.
    you make home.
    i say this because i can relate to an extent.
    i am married and have yet to be blessed with my own babes but my life is taking care of other peoples babes.
    the pay...
    not enough if i were living on my own but the rewards are endless.
    a mom is at work and thankfully this child is in caring hands.
    this is a reminder to me about the giftings God gives us.
    My husband reminds me often reminds me that our treasures are in heaven.
    As for the job here in earth,
    I wish that there was a sufficent job title for home maker.
    Good luck on your search.
    I know that I look forward to reading your blog and though I have never met you from miles away I continue to be inspired.
    God is amazing at helping us find ourselves and all of our gifts during times like this.

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  5. i think you're rather amazing. i know some of these feelings after going though 10 months of unemployment. prayer definitely works, it does. my continous prayer during that time was right door, right time. i will pray it for you too.

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  6. Remember that time you applied at Anne Patterson's flowers...you didn't have the floral arranger training but you showed them with a photo that you were passionate about arranging flowers and that you had an eye for it. And they hired you.
    You have never failed to show someone why they should hire you.
    Remember when you were in high school and in Junior Achievement when your company was electing a president, you stood up and said a woman should run the company. You were selected as president and ran a successful JA company.
    You have gumption my dear sister and that is often worth so much more than marketable skills. You can teach skills to someone but you cannot teach passion and gumption.

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  7. YES. a. i hate that feeling-the crappy- "i'm not good at anything" downward spiral that is fueled by our culture's lame values. b. i think you are amazing, gifted, creative, talented, warm, honest....c. cv's are overrated.

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  8. This really struck a chord with me...it's exactly how I feel right now....worthless to the world but invaluable to myself & family.

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  9. This is the life, the love, the fear of so many of us, no? We need a new economics, desperately. A GDP of little hands and strong souls and curious minds and such like. Maybe we could get THAT list up and plugged into Excel, and then we could all bail on the self-flogging and get on with The Truly Important.

    Chin up, best of luck, and I'm sure your family would agree, you rock.

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