oh my heart

This part of my heart...the daughter part is hurting today because my daughter dearest is hurting...not urgently and not terribly but the poor thing has sore arms due to the many (5) shots she received today. Vaccinations preparing her for kindergarten later this year, catch-up shots from last year and an extra vaccination because she has a cochlear implant and runs a higher risk of contracting meningitis. Boy oh boy was the child pissed off before, during and after her visit to the nurse with the needles....bloody murder screaming as I am forcing her sleeve over her shoulder for the quick jab...scream'n for her papa like I was a stranger. Poor baby, my heart was breaking...at least we are done for many years. Maybe I should have rethought the whole to vaccinate or not to vaccinate controversy.

We did start the morning off with girl time at Starbucks and followed up with a viewing of "Snow White". Delia had a routine check-up...yup all looks good and for the first time in her little life she has made it into the 7th percentile for height & weight...wahoo rockin' in at 38" and 30lbs...you grow girl!!

Where has my baby gone?

As some of you know we (the parents) have been discussing the possibility of a bilateral implant for little sweet Delia but after additional testing and much consideration we have decided to just stick with the one implant for the time being. A tough decision with so many facets to explore...it is so hard to know what to do...even when you pray about the decision. As a parent of a deaf child I think I am reaching the outer edges of coping with the many parts of her deaf education...the schooling...the speech therapy...the future...the sloppy speech & correction and the general frustration of repeating so many things to her...all the time.
Don't get me wrong, Cordelia is a MIRACLE...a bionic baby (girl) who has worked so hard for so many years to get where she is today. We as a family have worked hard...sign language, therapy, oral deaf school, audiology appointments...we have been faithful to the cause, attending the conferences, learning the lingo and cheering her onward. By all accounts she is a successful oral deaf child in a mainstream preschool with support services at age 4...truly a miracle.
Why do I feel weary?
Daunted by what lies ahead?
Well for starters we are in the process of revamping her educational plan to get more aggressive therapy as we approach kindergarten in the fall...although we are doing this with a school district unable to provide the appropriate services to meet Cordelia's needs...I am not even sure what all those needs are.
I know my personal weariness will pass and likely by morning...why do insist on blogging late into the evening? I know I will battle forward on the behalf of Delia and the other deaf kids in the district. I know she will continue to be amazing and brilliant and funny and charming and delightful. I am confident she will continue to chatter my ear off all day everyday.
She is in my heart and of my heart...forever.
Braids courtesy of Nan at Christmas time.


  1. Why do you feel weary? Because you are a mom and at some point, we all feel weary. Motherhood sure isn't for wimps, is it?

    What a beautiful picture of Cordelia...could her eyes be any more soulful?

  2. You make me want to give you a hug. I'm sure that wouldn't help much but it's all I can think of.


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