10.18.2007

campfire reflections

Last Saturday evening I found myself sitting beside a campfire, all by my lonesome. The kids were tucked, cozy in their borrowed beds and the other adults were off on an ice cream raid. There I was sitting in the cool dark evening, warmed by the fire and gazing at the starry starry sky.
Was I relaxed? No.
I was twitch'n, ach'n and itch'n to do something and go somewhere...though there was nothing to do and nowhere to go. My job was to sit and enjoy the campfire and not leave lest a spark jump fire and burn the forest down. As it turns out I can not just sit...just be...sit in silence...be still. I started thinking about Elizabeth Gilbert in her book "Eat, Pray, Love" how she was in in an Ashram in India in a meditation room and she wrestled within herself to sit still. (I had been reading her book over the weekend...a topic for another post). My faith does not need a mediation room or an Ashram but the ability to sit still and hear the voice of God would be a great reward. Once upon a time I could sit still and hear His voice and know. Yet, there I was surrounded by God's majestic creation unable to pray, reflect or to simply listen. Anxious for the return of the others, restless and itch'n to do something...anything but be still.
To sit...
to be...
to listen...
to pray...
to hear...
to magnify...
to rejoice...
to soar...
to want to sit still.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46 v10

2 comments:

  1. Nicole, I can relate very well to this...Flannery O'Conner calls that way of being that we seek the Habit of Being, which conveys just that: to be quiet and prayerful, those ways of being need to be habitual. I, for one, am guilty of not being habitually prayerful and quiet -- but always striving to change that. Thanks for the reflections and the reminder.

    Monica

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  2. Niki B,
    It's like you crawled in my head and wrote down my struggle for the past while. I think Satan likes to use busyness as "acceptable" avoidance of spending time with Jesus, drinking in what He has for us. You are not alone, so let's go to Him together. Isn't heaven going to be amazing? Let's not wait to get there to enjoy His presence. I love campfires. They are good for so many things, reflections being one, smores being the other. Be encouraged my sister. Thanks for reminding me of my favourite verse. Love, Steph

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